Sullen Girl

Extremely Antagonizing: Cute yet Not Particularly Talented or Essentially Necessary Young Women That are, For Some Reason, Given License to Design Clothing for Impressionable Young Girls

Yep, this is about as exciting as the time Heatherette designed t-shirts and super-super trnedy leggings for Macy's... it's really just that. T-shirts and hoodies that have one thing going for them: a famous name.

I love Amanda Bynes as much as I can possibly love a celebrity that I grew up watching on Nickelodeon and that I'll never meet and even if I did know her, would probably not have her as a close friend; so yeah, love the girl, I think she's hot and has pretty hair and nice skin and I'm glad she's still doing movies but not in a Lindsay Lohan sort of way (now THAT girl, I would SO have that girl as a friend!), but really. HONESTLY. Does she deserve her own clothing line?

Not that young women of the like predicating her have deserved it (what did Hilary Duff do to get a clothing line? Ah, that's right. Lizzie McGuire. It was television gold, I tell you. And the Olsen twins? Well, they didn't prove themselves as fashion icons until years after their Wal-Mart line came out) much more than I believe she does, but that's not saying much. I guess I'm just all pissy because a celebrity can get a label so easily, get paid all this money to make a load of crap, and then amazingly magical people like Nicolas Ghesquiere have to prove themselves to a bunch of greedy cynical nobs before they can actually squire fame. The designers should be the celebrities, not the other way around. Or I guess, if you really really more-than-anything-in-the-whole-big-wide-world want to be a clothing designer for teenage girls, you can try and get your crazy ass on a kids' show and work your way up the ladder from them, Amanda Bynes style.

Yeah, so. Basically, Dear by Amanda Bynes is all yours if you want to buy the skinnies and tunics that Amanda has personally labored to create just for you.

Extremely Antagonizing: The De-Class-ification of Debra Messing

This is an awfully Lindsay Lohan-esque outfit for a woman that normally looks so good. I like the dress, the sandals, and the glasses... but somehow I can't help but wonder what this could have been.

Imagine another tank top layered under the - er - incredibly brief dress. A "pop" as they say, of color; something strappy (OO! Multiple straps!) but not bra-strappy. Imagine that this isn't a tank DRESS, but a long tunic worn over white shorts, keeping the same sandals. And of course, the cute brightly colored tank top that she'd be wearing underneath the tunic.

There's a way to look trendy and youthful, I think, without resorting to Linsdayism.

Extremely Antagonizing: Pretty Dresses with Awkward Shoes

It's quite irksome when shapes don't flow; not that everything should match up (because, let's face it, a shoe shaped like a dress would look incredibly awkward) but a harmonious flow from torso to legs to feet as translated through various textiles is always appreciated, never overlooked.

Now.

Mischa Barton's shapeless sparkle contraption is awkward enough (the girl DOES tend to wear sacks) without the bulky shoe-box looking footgear she's got on, but if she had worn something daintier -- perhaps something in the way of a peep-toe pump in the same color or even a standard pointy stiletto -- she might have knocked out that bulky-twiggy-bulky theme and actually had length and grace.

And Lily Allen, she who most likely couldn't give a shit about the dubious harmony of her outfit nor what I think about it, is actually wearing one of the most flattering dresses I've ever seen gracing her body -- and I'm positive that it's not because her waist looks so tiny in juxtaposition with her alarmingly large feet. From mid-tibia up, Lily looks... amazing. Look at that hair! The attitude of her whole face with the sexy aviators, red lipstick, and girlish star earrings! Now look at her giant boots, which you know she totally could have rocked with a cute mini or encasing ripped jeans.

I know, disappointing.

Extremely Antagonizing: Some Guy in Front City Hall

This freaking guy.

So, when did it become ok to wear just a fishnet shirt in public? As a goal, both in real life and on the internet, I'm trying not to make fun of people's weight anymore. But this is just insane. There's all this lumpy and bumpy and nipple-ish stuff happening and it's all not ok. Not ok at all.

This freaking guy.

[Again, with the men's fashion]

Fashion Antagonist: Kristin Bell and Espadrilles

I love me some feisty females just as much as the next person, but sometimes when a woman gets too involved with everyones perception of her attitude and how awesome and feisty it its, she forgets that she has a cute body and a nice figure and feet that look far too large for said cute body and nice figure.

I'm not going to diss the dress because there's no point: it's a perfectly normal, flattering dress. But it's long, and we should figure out by now that long dresses go with dainty shoes.

Espadrilles: they inspire so much in aging fashion plates everywhere, and so much irritation in me. I hate the look of them probably more than any other shoe. They always look cheap; they always remind me of overly-tanned anorexic middle-aged women that pair them with capris and rhinestone tanks. They always look terrible and they are always tied at what looks like an uncomfortable level of tightness.

Kristen Bell is not tanned or old. I haven't cared about her enough to find out her eating habits, but I don't think she's anorexic. HOWEVER she appears here wearing giant, chunky espadrilles with a long flowing dress.

Maybe she looks good and it's just me.